Wanna hear something stupid?
It’s 3:48 am, and I’m up, because I made my insanely good hot chocolate before I went to bed, because a) I was begged to, and b) I’m an arrogant idiot and thought it would have no effect on me because I’m that awesome (obviously that was incorrect).
Wanna hear something stupid(er)?
I gave myself the holidays off from blogging (Merry Christmas, BTW! And Boxing day, Brits and Canadas…and New Years….and National Spaghetti Day…and National Argyle Day…and Houseplant Appreciation Day…and National Popcorn Day…and National Handwriting Day…and Chocolate Cake Day…and National Kazoo Day…and Croissant Day…and Robinson Crusoe Day…and Day of the Crepe…and National Homemade Soup Day…and Chinese New Year/Chocolate Fondue Day…oh, that’s today. Cool! You can probably tell what kind of calendar I got for Christmas…). I didn’t want to miss out on family stuff, plus my tablet was acting up and I needed a part for it (or so I thought…the tablet led me in a stupid dance where the LCD consistantly crapped out for three solid months, only to work like a dream when I’d finally gotten the part for it and was liTErAlLy TaKInG It ApArT. BECAUSE, KARMA.) After the post-holiday work rush, not to mention a sudden burst of mad closet downsizing, I realized that I hadn’t posted in quite a while, but whenever I started a draft…well…
You wanna hear something really stupid?
I just couldn’t do it.
No matter what I wrote about, it just didn’t fit with the perfect image I had in my mind of ‘my first post of the year’.
Nothing was good enough.
Nothing was cool enough.
Nothing was clever enough.
Nothing was edgy enough.
In a way, I wonder if I felt that I wasn’t good enough. I had quite a few drafts already, but now I have about fifty. (On the upside, I have a gillion post ideas now…) No matter what I came up with, perfection always escaped my grasp. I couldn’t write ‘the perfect post’. I couldn’t even write an ‘ok post’.
So, here’s something really, really stupid:
I’m doing it anyway.
This isn’t a top ten list, a recipe, or a childhood memory. This is me, being real, being my best self, and being here.
So what if this rambles? So what if it it isn’t perfect? That’s life. What better way to start the year than to embrace life? Because life can get messy, life can get busy, life can even get a bit sad, but life will always be beautiful despite these imperfections, and perhaps, even, because of them.
It’s 5:15 am, February 5th, 2019.
Happy New Year. 😉