Visiting relative who kept waking me up all night asking me things and now has the audacity to complain they’re tired: “Jeez, God knows I didn’t get any sleep last night…”
Me: “I must be God.”
This is my favorite ostrich picture. I mean, favorite. Just look at that little guy’s face-its such a wonderful expression of confusion and contempt. It may just become the official braindump face of “oh, reallllllly?”!
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thebraindump 
Ostrich says, “Oh really?
You never coulda told me so.
I never woulda guessed it.
I slept so well, you know!”
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😂 exactly!
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